What I Have Been Doing When I Have Not Been Blogging, Part 3

I rode a lion.

The Crackpot Quilters spent a day together making a quilt top for charity. No materials were purchased for this project. Next year we will baste the the quilt top, the batting and the backing together so it is ready for machine quilting.

My Other-in-Law and I attended a luncheon which featured author Zoe Ferraris as a speaker. I happened on one of her books last fall, and then I read the other two. I highly recommend them.

I studied German some more. And some more. And still more.

I ate ice cream three times in one week.

What Are You Going To Do With All Those Beads?

  All these Delicas and bugles?

 All these hanks of beads?

 And these 20 tubes of 11/0s, 10/0s, 9/0s, and cubes that were at first too shy to allow their photo to be on this blog?

That's what she asked me.  I didn't ask her, but I did wonder what she was going to do with those two sets of 1950s salt and pepper shakers.

What we're both doing is increasing our net worth.

This is the way I figure it:  Say, for example, that the beads were priced at $100.  But at the 70% off sale, I only paid $30.  I've increased my net worth by $70.

Early this morning I had a one hundred dollar bill.  Now I have $100 worth of beads and a fifty dollar bill and a twenty dollar bill.

Early this morning I had $100.  Now I have $170 worth of extremely valuable stuff (money and beads).  I've increased my net worth by $70.

Had I been thinking more clearly, I might have relieved Dr. Mathematics of all his cash before he had a chance to peek into the going-out-of-business bead store.  One quick look, and he decamped to the public library across the street.  With more cash, I might have increased my net worth even more.

If the phone is busy when you call, don't worry.  I'll be talking to NPR about economic theory.

My Sister's Birthday

It was my sister's birthday this week. It was a big birthday with a zero so I decided to make her a special card. I had a peculiar feeling that she would like this quilt block in these colors. And she did.



The mini block is foundation pieced and mounted in a tri-fold card with a square opening.

A Tribute To The Women Who Didn't Believe In Deference

She Who Shall Not Be Named sent me this link:
http://soomopublishing.com/suffrage/

I thought those of you who commented on my February BJP might be interested.

She explained to me that the man in the video with the letter from his mother is Harry Burn, who cast the deciding vote for ratification in Tennessee, which was the 36th state to ratify the 19th amendment, at which point it became law of the land. The red rose he's wearing is for the anti-suffrage movement, but in the end he decided to do what his mother told him to.

Let's hear it for the moms!

UFOs or USPs? And Who Will See My Lining?

My sewing group is having a UFO challenge. We're challenged to finish as many UFOs (unfinished objects) as we can during January, February and the first part of March. There may be prizes!

I don't have a huge number of UFOs--or at least I don't have a huge number of UFOs that I want to work on this winter. I may be competitive when prizes are involved, but there's a limit! My UFOs are unfinished for good reasons. Really good reasons.

But I do have a number--an adequate number--a significant number--a substantial number--an embarrassing number--of USPs. Unstarted projects.

These USPs are projects for which I have the idea, the fabric, the pattern, or at least two of those three. Some of my USPs may be almost vintage USPs. Last winter I completed a nearly vintage project, a lap quilt called Fabric in its Prime.

My first USP was a pair of navy corduroy slacks. Nothing fancy--pockets, front zipper, belt loops. I purchased the fabric last fall so I could replace some slacks that were getting rather worn.

My second USP is a white beaded doll. I've made two white dolls before. You can see the first one in this post. She was sold. The second one was given away. This is what she looks like. But I wanted a white doll for myself so I decided to make one. She's about half beaded.

My third USP is a purple corduroy jeans-style jacket. I've used this pattern McCalls 5191 twice before. Each time I make a few more alterations, but it's a fairly loose fitting jacket. I leave off the pockets which are right below the yoke.

The pattern does not call for a lining, but I'm not crazy about raw edges on the inside of a jacket. My first jacket was made of cotton with a little spandex. I made flat felled seams instead of the topstitched seams called for in the pattern. I bound the edges of the facings with a quilting cotton. My second jacket was made of a mid-wale corduroy. It was too thick to make flat felled seams without big lumps. So I lined it.

This third jacket is made from a fine wale corduroy that is somewhat heavy. So I decided to line it, too. It has a rather bright lining. Make that a fantastically loud lining. Purple, red, fuchsia, blue, green, yellow, orange, even metallic gold. Perfect for a purple jacket. But who will see this lining? No one, unless the laundry elves come in at night. Who will see it? You will, because it's right here:

I Haven't Been Blogging Because...

I've been jumping. Look carefully. My feet are totally off the ground.

And look again. See the basketball on the ground. And the backboard almost hidden behind the man. I put the basketball through the hoop. By throwing it. Woo-Hoo!

This was taken at the Madison Wisconsin Komen Race for the Cure. Our team had five runners and two walkers. OK, so I was one of the walkers. I'll admit it.

The two grandsons raced in the 18 and under age group. Nine-year-old grandson number one was the fastest in the family with a time of 26 minutes 25 seconds. This was his first 5K run. He hadn't trained at all, but he plays a lot of soccer. Seven-year-old grandson number two had a time of 30 minutes 27 seconds, his fastest time ever! Out of the two 5Ks he has run. Woo-Hoo for the guys!

And special thanks to She Who Shall Not Be Named for organized the festivities. And for providing the totally stylin' pink socks for the female team members.

More Artistic Inspiration from Far Away

Fresco at Chora Church, Istanbul. Notice any quilt block patterns?


Tiles in the Harem at Topkapi Palace, Istanbul




Handwoven Turkish carpets at the Hereke Carpet Weaving Center, Capadocia, Turkey

Even More Artistic Inspiration from Far Away

Fantastical rock formation in Capadocia, Turkey


Sailing on the Mediterranean


View of the Aegean Sea from Starbucks, Kusadasi, Turkey


Sunset over the Aegean Sea in Kusadasi, Turkey

The Blizzard of 2011 and What She Did

Remember the Midwestern Blizzard of February 1 and 2, 2011? What would you have done in that blizzard?

What would you have done if you opened your front door on February 2 to find this?



Or if you pushed the snow off your back steps and looked across your courtyard toward your garage and found this?


Or if you trudged around the block and into your garage and opened the door to look across your courtyard from the other direction and you saw this?


If there were snowdrifts taller than you, what would you do? If you were She Who Shall Not Be Named, you'd get your snow shovel and twenty (20) minutes later you'd see this:


And this:


Her name must be Superwoman!

And if you were the mother of Superwoman, what would you do? You'd print the photos on fabric and make them into a wall hanging for Superwoman's birthday present.


Happy Birthday, Superwoman!

Kimono Ladies

Last week our Lakeshore Fiber Arts Guild had a program on "How to Wear Kimono." Mayumi Balfour was our instructor. I volunteered to be one of the models. I can't believe members weren't pushing and shoving to be dressed in kimomo. The front of the kimono (with me in it) is above, and the back of the kimono is below.



This is a close-up of the obi.



I was surprised to learn how many layers went around a woman's middle. The idea is to have a straight up and down figure, with the back of the neck being the most sensual part of the body. I'm sure you can tell that from the back view.

Here is Wendy wearing kimono:



And here are some other members of our group wearing yukata, with Mayumi on the right.

I Found My Underwear!

Woo-Hoo! I found my underwear. Woo-Hoo! Fifteen months later. Twenty-five miles from home.

A couple of friends told me they'd seen my underwear. And they told me where they'd seen it. So I decided to find it myself.

And here it is.



It's hard to see in this photo (more about that adventure later), but this is the beaded bra I made and donated for an auction that raised money for mammograms for uninsured or under-insured women. The bra cups are covered with flower, leaf and butterfly beads. The sides and back are covered with pink fabric. I named the bra "Garden of Hope."

It's hanging in the fitting room of Dockside Clothing in Grand Haven, Michigan. I believe the store owner must have purchased it at the auction.

Taking the picture was itself an adventure. I walked into the store and told the clerk that I understood there was a beaded bra in the fitting room and that I was the person who made the bra. She did a double take. I guess I don't look like the highly embellished undergarment type.

At lunch a friend had shown me how to take a picture with my relatively new phone. (See what happened to the old one here.) So I took the photo with my phone. Then the issue was what to do with it. Apparently my $20 not-very-smart phone and my $5 a month plan do not permit me to send email or to download info from the phone. So I texted it to my daughter-in-law's smart phone and she emailed it back to me. I think I should be able to take better photos with the phone, but the instruction book is not too clear. I'll have to experiment.

But when I get back to Grand Haven next month, I'll take a real camera and get a better picture.

Fabric In Its Prime

I just finished the lap quilt to keep my legs and feet warm while I do hand stitching, read, or watch TV. It's 60 inches long by 40 1/2 inches wide. My plan, as it developed, was to finish the layering and quilting and machine stitch the binding on by last Sunday afternoon so I could hand stitch the binding on to the back during the Super Bowl. I did that, but it took till this morning to get all the hand stitching completed, due to numerous distractions along the way.

Because this is an item that will be washed frequently, I used polyester batting. For the quilting, smoke polyester mono-filament thread was used on the top and brown Gutermann polyester thread was used in the bobbin. I thought the quilt was busy enough with the variety of fabrics and blocks so I machine quilted in the ditch. I used a 75/11 quilting needle and a walking foot.

I wanted to limit my starts and stops in each block and the retracing of any stitching so I consulted the local topologist for the best way to plan the quilting. He referred me to Eulerian Paths and the Bridges of Konigsberg problem.

Aha! Or it would have been Aha!, except that I was distracted by two things. First, I realized we had had this discussion before. More than once. In fact, if I recall correctly, the Bridges of Konigsberg problem was used as a pick-up line some 40 years ago. (It worked.) Second, there was a loud Whooshing noise. The Whoosh was the sound of all that information going right over my head.

Now I know you're not hearing that Whooshing sound because you read and fully comprehended those Wikipedia references. But this is what I took away from the detailed explanation: Sometimes you can quilt all around all the pieces without stopping. Sometimes you can't. I can usually figure it out by eyeballing it. That's because it's Ayrt, not mathematics.

Because this little quilt will not be treated gently, I decided to use a French (double fold) bias binding. Being a book-larnin' kind of a person, I did a little research about how wide to cut my bias strips. What I found was a range of recommended widths. After auditioning the various widths, I went with the Sally Collins recommendation of 1 7/8 inches wide. This worked very well. (For your information, Fons and Porter recommend 2", 2 1/4", or 2 1/2" and Nancy Johnson-Srebro recommends 2".)

I named this quilt "Fabric in its Prime." Shortly after my mother died in 2002, my dad gave me some money for my birthday. I decided to spend it on something both my mother and I both enjoyed--fabric. Most of this fabric in the blocks came from a bundle of quarter yards I bought at that time. I think my dad was pleased to see that I spent it that way. The fabric brings me happy memories of both my parents.

This is the label. You can see the backing fabric in the photo. The dark brown sashing and border fabric is used as a frame for the label. I did have to purchase the backing and border/sashing fabric from our favorite, locally-owned fabric store.



If you want to see the individual blocks, scroll down to earlier posts.

I Washed My Phone, And Other Household Catastrophes

But more about the phone later...

The first incident occurred during All Together Week. Since most of the All who were Together were at cottages, I volunteered our washing machine. The offer was accepted, and a basket of laundry arrived at our house. I loaded it into the machine, added the detergent, and pressed the button. All went well until the spin cycle.

Then Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! OOPS! I had washed Grandson #2's rock collection. Now Everyone thought that Someone Else had checked the pockets. As is usual in these circumstances, that meant that No One had checked the pockets. I retrieved four small, very interesting rocks, half an inch to an inch in diameter, and forty cents from the washing machine. I later retrieved a fifth rock and another dime from the dryer.

Fast forward a couple of days. More dirty laundry, none of which belonged to Grandson #2. All the pockets were checked. Washing went well, but then there was the spin cycle.

Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! Ka-Blam! Double OOPS! Part of the rock collection had migrated around the rubber flange to the space between the tub and the housing. Fortunately, two aspiring MacGyvers were available, my associate homeowner and the visiting She Who Shall Not Be Named.



They went at the washing machine with a collection of interesting tools: a screwdriver, two flashlights, a wire coat hanger, duct tape, mesh from a bag of fruit, ribbon, and a darning needle. I went off to a meeting, leaving them to their project.



I returned an hour and a half later to find the washed but not rinsed laundry still in the basket and the name of the appliance repair service with the best ratings on the internet. I suggested that the aspiring MacGyvers rinse out the soapy laundry in the bathtub while I arranged for a repair.

So I called. That service did not repair my brand so they gave me two other names. So I called. Eventually arrangements were made for the repairman to come the next week. We were determined to live the clean life--no messes or spills--until the machine was fixed.

The repairman arrived and went at the washing machine with a tool that looked amazingly similar to the coat hanger device my own MacGyvers had used unsuccessfully. He was unsuccessful, too. He determined that it would be necessary to take the machine apart, a two-hour project. He would call me the next day with a scheduled time. I quickly determined that the fifty cents I had found would probably not cover the labor charges for a two-hour repair. However, the repair would be less expensive than replacing a three-year-old machine.

The next morning the repairman called to refer me to a second repairman who had more experience with my brand. This didn't sound good. I called the second repairman. He assured me that he had been to Whirlpool School and that he knew all the secret tricks. He stated that he had never had to take a machine apart to retrieve a foreign object. I was hopeful, but not fully convinced.

The second repairman arrived the next day. After a couple of tries with the coat hanger type device, he went to the secret tricks. This is the method, as nearly as I understand it: Prop rubber flange open. Put contact cement on rock. Cut piece of strapping so it will reach rock. Put contact cement on end of strapping. Wait until contact cement achieves appropriate degree of tackiness. Drop strapping down onto rock. Press strapping against rock so the two cemented parts are in contact. Hold in place with screwdriver. Wait until a complete bond is formed. Pull strap and attached rock out. Amazing!

And now for the phone.
I did not want to wash the phone. I wanted to wash my backpack. My backpack is an heirloom backpack. I inherited it from She Who Shall Not Be Named, who had used it in junior high school. It was, frankly, disgusting. It had made several trips to Europe, serving as an airplane footrest. It had numerous spots of unknown origin. I wanted to wash my hands after handling it. It needed to be washed.

Remembering the rock collection incident, I carefully checked all the pockets. Out came the pencils and pens, the index cards and the kleenex. Out came the Google Map to the family reunion. Out came the old boarding passes and luggage tags. The phone, unfortunately, did not come out. Now I had last used the backpack about ten days before, when we spent a week with relatives. I hadn't needed the phone during that week and I hadn't needed it since we returned. I don't use the phone much. I have a super cheap, pay-by-the-minute plan.

I put the backpack into the bathtub with Camp Suds and left it to soak for about ten minutes. When I returned to swish it around and rinse it out, I knew there was a problem. Something was still in the backpack. The phone. OOPS!

You might be surprised at the number of internet sites that offer suggestions for dealing with a wet phone. I used the open the phone up, dry as much as possible with a paper towel, put the phone into a container of rice (or other absorbent material), seal it, leave it overnight, and hope for the best. We were fortunate to have the perfect rice in the cupboard: Arborio rice with a 1999 expiration date. (Note to self: Clean the cupboard more frequently and check the expiration dates on the contents.)



Despite this fabulous rice, the remedy was not effective. And the rice is on the way to the landfill. It's biodegradable. To continue with the food theme, the phone is toast.

A friend offered me her son's old phone, and here it is. Cool, eh? I think it will be a great replacement, as long as she can find the charging cord and the instruction manual in his room. He's off to grad school, so she's on her own.



Once I get connected again, I'll give you a call. In the meantime, my associate homeowner is doing the laundry.

She Must Be Superwoman!

We're painting the Room Soon To Be Known As The Room Formerly Known As Pink. Perhaps a more accurate statement is that my associate homeowner is painting the Room. My contributions so far have been limited to suggesting that we hire a painter (That didn't go far.), picking out the color, putting the screws from the fixtures in a place at least one of us (that would be me) would remember, cutting in around the ceiling, and washing the brushes. My associate homeowner has done the really ugly work of pulling off the wallpaper, cleaning off the old wallpaper paste (Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!) and washing the walls and woodwork.

The ceiling was painted Monday, and it looks nice. Extra credit goes to the painter for working in 90 degree weather.

Yesterday afternoon we decided to put the light fixtures back up. Yeah. Right. It seemed so simple. The first attempt took 45 minutes. It involved two people, a ladder, a step stool, two screwdrivers, masking tape, two drinking straws, and three flashlights. And some rude language, which, you will be relieved to know, I did not use. It was determined that a trip to one of the big box home improvement stores was needed.

Upon returning from the big box home improvement store, a second attempt was made. Doh! The purchased items did not help at all. So it was back to brute force. After about 25 minutes, the light fixture was finally reinstalled. And here it is:



Which made us wonder--After painting her bedroom, how did She Who Shall Not Be Named put her ceiling fan back up all by herself?

She must be Superwoman!

If You Want to Be An Athlete,

don't get glasses like mind. I really like these glasses. They're very lightweight. They're rimless so they don't block my face.

But they've broken three times in the past year. Last spring it was the left earpiece. That was replaced. During the summer, it was the bridge. That was replaced. This morning it was the right earpiece. That was replaced with an almost matching one the optician had in stock. A matching earpiece should come in tomorrow.

You may wonder how an ordinary grandma who closely resembles a little old lady would break her glasses so many times. I wondered that, too. And then I realized...

It's my athletic career. I play contact sports. Hockey. Soccer. Football. Hide and Seek. With my grandsons, ages 8 and 6.

The first incident occurred last May when we were playing soccer in the backyard. I was in goal and the only member of my team, playing against the two boys. My older grandson moved the ball down the field while my younger grandson distracted me. My older grandson gave a powerful kick. Blam! Right in my face! Who would believe that someone with my amazingly fast grandma reaction time could get hit in the face? It was an athletic anomaly.

When I went in to get my glasses adjusted a couple of weeks later, the earpiece broke. My excellent and extremely cheerful optician Mr. Steve replaced the earpiece while I wondered how in the world I could have broken it.

Fast forward two months. One Friday evening the bridge of my glasses broke. Just broke. I dug through the drawer to find my substitute glasses. There were two pairs of old glasses. I couldn't see very well with either of them. For sure I couldn't see any needles, thread or beads. It wasn't my favorite weekend. On Monday I trooped back down to see Mr. Steve.

"How could this have happened?" I asked him. He smiled and ordered another bridge. Within a couple of days, I was ready to start beading again.

Then one day last fall, I had a thought. Could the broken glasses have anything to do with getting hit in the face--in the glasses--with the soccer ball? Duh! Double duh!!

And then the right earpiece broke today. This time I knew why. It was hockey. Or maybe football. Or maybe hockey and football.

This past weekend my grandsons and I were playing hockey. We play in the basement (no ice and no skates) with a wiffle ball and plastic hockey sticks about two feet long. Our hockey games do get exciting. We were scrambling after the puck (wiffle ball) in front of the net when Blam! A hockey stick right in my face. Er, right in the glasses. No harm done; no goal scored. But I realized I'd need my glasses adjusted. Later we played football outside, with a football smaller than a grapefruit. But my amazingly fast grandma reaction time let me down again. Blam! A football right in the glasses. No harm done; no touchdown. But the glasses really needed to be adjusted.

So this morning I went back to see Mr. Steve. And after the glasses had been adjusted and cleaned and I was putting them on, Snap! The right earpiece. I am now nicely dressed in glasses that are silver on one side and bronze on the other. But I can see.

And I'm not going to give up my athletic career. I'm just going to speed up my grandma reaction time.

How Old Is This Zipper?

I have a lot of zippers. More than I need to last a lifetime. A fair number of those zippers are more than 30 years old.

From 1969 to 1978, we lived in Meadville, Pennsylvania. At that time the headquarters of Talon was in Meadville, and Meadville was known as "The Home of the Hookless Fastener." Talon was a (the?) major zipper producer in the US, and one of our neighbors was an engineer at Talon. At the factory, there apparently was a box of not-quite-perfect zippers, and employees were allowed to take what they needed. Our neighbors knew that I sewed, and the engineer would bring me reject zippers from time to time. These zippers were perfectly functional. There might be a misweave in the zipper tape or the zipper stop might be put on backwards. Occasionally the color of the teeth did not match the color of the tape. These zippers were not packaged. I have a pretty good group of unpackaged zippers.

I also have a nice collection of packaged zippers from the last millennium, and this zipper is one of them. Some of them were mine to start with, some came from my mother's stash, and some came from thrift stores. I don't know exactly how old this zipper is, but there are a few clues that a zipper detective could use to find out.

Look at the top picture. This zipper is priced at 50 cents. It's a bargain! Today a 12 inch zipper would cost more than three times as much. You wouldn't even need a zipper detective to determine when a 12 inch zipper cost 50 cents. All you would need would be an economist and/or a statistician and information about the rate of inflation. If you are one of those persons, go for it! When did this kind of zipper cost 50 cents?



Look at the next picture. The package says that the coils are two continuous nylon coils, and there is a warning printed on the zipper tape about using a hot iron. I don't remember ever seeing this warning on a zipper tape before, but I don't think that means the zipper is a new-fangled 21st century item. Today polyester is used instead of nylon in zippers. I know I shouldn't use a very hot iron on these zippers, but I don't pay much attention to my iron temperature. I've never melted a zipper.



The last picture explains that the zipper is "Magically Self-Healing." This was a new concept when the nylon coil zippers first came out. Anyone who has tried to repair a metal zipper and ended up using rude language understands the appeal of magical self-healing. Note also that the second numbered point says strong. This is also important. Some of the early nylon coil zippers were magically self-splitting.



So how old is this zipper? Late 60s or early 70s?

Want to know more about this history of the zipper (and who wouldn't)? Check out this American Heritage article by Robert Friedel. After you read it, you may qualify as a zipper detective.

This zipper, whatever its age, is going into a pair of khaki slacks.

Everything I Know About Football I Learned from the Wall Street Journal

In order to be a Highly Qualified Grandma, I need to know about football. My two grandsons are probably the biggest football fans in the entire world. Ok, so they're not that big (kindergarten and second grade), but their fan-ishness knows no limit. The older one has been trying to teach me to throw a spiral for a couple of years. So far he has not been successful. They both quiz me about team colors, mascots, and quarterbacks.

So I've had to take the Wall Street Journal's short course in Football for Grandmas. And this is what I've learned:

1. Quarterbacks are the handsomest players, if facial symmetry is equivalent to handsomeness. Check it out.
2. After a football team changes its logo to look fiercer, it wins more games. Note: The new logo has not helped the Detroit Lions in any way worth thinking about. (But Matt Stafford is handsome for a kid.)
3. Statistically, going for it on fourth down pays off in points.
4. Losing the last one or two games of the season does not bode well for a team during the playoffs. The Colts forgot to read this article.
5. Peyton Manning may be the best quarterback ever. Maybe even better than Johnny Unitas.
6. The blitz is the trendiest move in football. But it can be a bad idea when playing against the Colts.
7. The Vikings built their team by aggressively recruiting elite and free agent players with potential to meet specific needs. And paying big money. And going after old, frequently retired quarterbacks. (Brett Farve is handsome for an old guy.)
8. During a typical 174 minute broadcast of a football game, the football is in play for approximately 11 minutes.

You'd better have your knitting handy.

Christmas Ornaments Revealed!

Now that the celebration has been completed and the gifts distributed, the ornaments (aka the gifts) can be revealed. Most of the designs are from 202 Little Log Cabin Blocks by Linda Causee.



The ornaments are all foundation pieced. I used copy paper for the foundation, and I ripped it away, assisted by tweezers, before I made the ornaments.



The large ornaments are 2.5 inches square.



This small ornament is 2 inches square.



The penguin is 4 inches tall.



If you haven't tried foundation piecing, I recommend it.

Darth Vadar Shoes

I am now the proud owner of two pairs of Darth Vadar shoes.



You may wonder why anyone (other than Darth Vadar) would want Darth Vadar shoes. Sometimes I wonder, too.

However, faithful readers will remember my difficulties finding footwear (described here). The humiliation of being laughed out of every shoe store in town... I can't go on. It's too horrible.

So I've tried to get used to being a Little Old Lady in Tennis Shoes. Except that they are running shoes not tennis shoes. And I'm not that old. I'm not!!!

Now a Little Old Lady in Tennis Shoes is a vulnerable person. People ask her if she needs help lifting her turkey out of the frozen food bin. I don't, thank you very much. I'm just looking for one larger than 20 pounds. People tell her not to worry and reassure her that they won't knock her over as they push ahead at the yogurt display. You bet your sweet life you won't knock me over. And what exactly are you going to do with those eight one-quart containers of Dannon Low Fat Vanilla yogurt? (Ok, so I didn't say that, but I thought it.)

Now nobody messes with Darth Vadar. Except Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, and they are in a galaxy far, far away.

So if I have Darth Vadar shoes, nobody will mess with me. Brilliant! Because I do have two pairs of Darth Vadar shoes, as shown above.

And these shoes will be good travel shoes. Although they're not exactly glamorous (or at all lovely, except perhaps to Darth Vadar's inamorata), from a distance they look a little less like sneakers than the mostly white-colored shoes. And with another four months to perfect my Spanish, no one, not a single person, in Madrid will know I'm a tourist when I'm wearing these shoes.

Note to shoe shoppers: I ordered these from Endless Shoes since nothing in the right size was available locally. They had the best online prices and free shipping and free returns. I mean free overnight shipping. They arrived less than 24 hours after I ordered them.