Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Telephone Talked!

An almost completely, virtually, practically, literally true play, in four acts.

It takes place in an ordinary kitchen.

Characters: (In order of appearance)

The Telephone--Ordinary gray model
Homeowner--Beautiful, energetic, youthful-looking grandma who doubles as a football player
Associate Homeowner--Brilliant grandpa, frequently hidden behind a computer

Act I

Spooky music starts.
Telephone rings.
Telephone rings again.
Homeowner enters from stage left.
Spooky music gets louder.

Telephone: Call from wireless source.

Homeowner looks on in horror!

Telephone: Call from wireless source.

Homeowner: What the????

Telephone: Call from wireless source.

Homeowner: (tentatively picking up receiver) Hello?

Telephone: This is Grandma Ann.

Act II A few minutes later.

Homeowner: Where is that telephone instruction manual? Aha! Here.

Homeowner rifles through booklet, pushes buttons on telephone receiver, and hangs it up.

Homeowner: I stopped it.

Act III Later that day.

Homeowner walks into kitchen.

Associate Homeowner: (from behind a computer) It’s still talking.

Homeowner: I stopped it.

Associate Homeowner: It’s still talking.

Act IV The next day.

Associate Homeowner: Maybe you didn’t really stop it.

Homeowner: (Picks up receiver and pushes buttons.) See, it says ‘Off.’

Associate Homeowner: Maybe it has two voices.

Associate Homeowner picks up instruction manual and begins reading instructions.

Associate Homeowner: You have to turn the base unit off, too.

Homeowner picks up receiver and pushes more buttons.

Homeowner: Now I stopped both of them!

Victorious music begins.

1 comment:

pam T said...

Oh this is a hoot! You made me laugh out loud! thanks for this amusement...! just wanted to thank you for the tip on my blog about using paper with my BJP project. Picked up Steam-a-seam light or whatever its called and it WORKS GREAT! I shall be using it for December....! thanks again, Marty, for all your thoughts on my blog, and for the tip... and for making me LOL today!